Clarity
by AutobotScout
Summary: Retrofire shouldn't have ever trusted Lord Megatron's Second in Command, but he had no choice but to. The chain of command was important to the mech. But when Starscream finally makes a decision that might cost Retrofire his spark, he finds that in his final moments, he's determined to save the spark of a femme he'd thought he'd forgotten all about; Arcee.


Clarity :..: Arcee/Retrofire : angst :

His servos were clenched at his sides, glaring fiercely to where the Decepticon ground bridge had been nanokliks ago. He should've been gone too, aboard the Nemesis alongside the other Officers, but Commander _Starscream _had shown the mech what he really wanted before he escaped with the Vehicons. He wanted him offline, no longer a part of the picture, but he disguised it with an order to stay behind and make sure the freezing temperatures of the cavern was enough to offline the Autobot femme behind him.

Retrofire was no fool; the Commander didn't care if Lord Megatron lost one of the only loyal Decepticons so long as it made him look better in their leader's optics. And as much as he wanted to personally rip out that weasel's spark and watch as the light in his optics flickered until it was gone, he couldn't. Starscream was his commanding officer, and he was obligated to serve him as he served Lord Megatron.

But he had crossed the line here.

He left the dark Cybertronian behind in this cavern, claiming the cold would not affect him immediately due to his massive frame, but they both knew better. The chill in the air would hit him just as hard as it would Arcee, who was leaning on the far wall and glaring at him with her optics. He could feel her venemous gaze on the back of his helm, piercing into him and trying to find any reaction he might have to the circumstances. It was looking dim for the both of them.

Her coordinates had been wiped off the grid amidst the battle that had taken place moments ago, and he had crushed her com-link almost to dust when he got a hold of it. His own com-link was in working condition, so he could just call Soundwave for a ground bridge, but he wouldn't do that. He was a mech of honor (though not so much like Dreadwing had been, rest his spark); to leave his enemy to die alone would not be allowed. So even if it happened to be his ex-sparkmate, he would not leave her.

"They abandoned you," Arcee finally spoke up, her voice carrying in the closed off cavern, and he turned to face her. Her stance was attentive, her blue optics following each move he made. "The Decepticons left you for scrap metal."

"No," he slid down the wall to sit down, leaning his elbow on his knee and staring back at her. There was no point in fighting each other, he knew, because it wouldn't help the situation. It would only make things worse. She looked him up and down when he let out a tired vent, fog drifting out of his mouthplates and up towards the ceiling. "Commander Starscream abandoned me. Lord Megatron does not know of his actions."

Arcee let out a scoff, sitting down at the opposite wall and peering into his optics incredulously. "You're joking. Megatron deserted you just as much as your Commander."

Retrofire shook his helm, actually looking back into her optics with a hint of resent in his dulled gold optics. "You're one to talk."

"They didn't abandon me," her response was instant, expression hardening. "You were the one that destroyed my com-link."

"I wasn't going to allow you to call for backup."

"Well, if you hadn't broken it, maybe you wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe you'd be back with Megatron, and you wouldn't have to be here!" There was a hint of bitterness in her voice, and he raised an optic ridge at her outburst. She wrapped her arms around herself, servos placed at the bend of her elbow, but she glared at him.

"Bitter is not a good look on you, Arcee."

"I'm not bitter, you good for nothing sl-" her voice cut off, and she stopped moving, optics widening. At first, he thought the cold was starting to bite at her metal (as it was starting to bite at his), but then he felt an overwhelming rush of fear crash into him, and he nearly stumbled. He couldn't figure it out for a klick or two, his processor rushing over all possible options of where the sudden anxiety was coming from. He realized it was her EM Field; she had lost her hold on it, and now it was suffocating him with emotions he'd rather not admit to experiencing himself.

With great hesitance, Retrofire carefully let his own field go loose, unwrapping from how closely he had it to his spark, and it united with her's. He had grown unused to sharing his emotions with others, the last time he did it being before he defected from the Autobot cause. There was a nanoklik of silence in which he observed Arcee, who seemed momentarily confused by what must've been the unexpected sentiments, then she understood. And she looked up at him, optics wide as she examined his emotions, which had once been so hard to read but were now plain in her faceplates.

He was terrified, and he was desperate. Those two responses were enough to throw her off her balance, but it was the third prominent emotion that really confused her; protectiveness. Retrofire could see her deciphering every inch of his EM Field, and while the intrusion made him uncomfortable, he allowed it. If she was going to offline - Primus, if _he _was going to offline here - he had nothing to lose.

Her body jolted in pain, and she let out a hissing vent as her servos clenched. It was beginning to negatively affect her more than before, and then he felt it. A stab of ice shot through his own frame, momentarily seizing his spark before leaving him to shiver helplessly. Optics turning back to Arcee, he saw that she was practically curled into a fetal position, and it hurt his spark worse than the cold. He had never seen the cobalt femme so vulnerable.

His servo latched onto a crack in the wall behind him, and he pulled himself to his pedes, hearing his gears shift and feeling the torment wrap around his body each time he vented. But he was stronger than this, and he would make it before he collapsed. Retrofire took a step closer to her, allowing his servo to leave the support of the wall, and he was moving. Step by step, the cold mercilessly attacked his frame as he neared her. The Autobot stared at him with questioning optics, seeing that he was obviously struggling to get to her.

He nearly fell to his knees before her, but her servos shot out and held him up just as he caught hold of the wall. His optics closed as his vents turned heavy, but she was whispering to him, telling him he was going to be okay. He dropped himself beside her, gold optics opening to stare at the perplexed femme that was now beside him. He wasn't finished moving, however, reaching his servos out and wrapping them around her waist. He sucked in a sharp intake before lifting her onto his lap, securing her in place with his arms and holding her close.

"Retrofire, what are you doing?" Arcee's voice was quiet from the impact the freezing temperature was having on her vocal processor, and hearing her just about croak out her words, he fell silent. He didn't know what it was he was doing either; they were enemies. He fought her in battle, she defended herself with fervor. They were almost always at each other's necks on the battlefield, so why did his spark ache to see her so helpless to her own demise?

He nearly shut down then, his optics offlining and his spark slowing down, but she shouted his designation and brought him back. He tightened his grip on her, deciding that he would not allow her to offline down here, not like he would. His voice came out strangled when he spoke next, his vocal processor aching every time a sound left his mouthplates. "Use my com-link, Arcee," he exhaled, trailing his optics to her faceplates and feeling her fear, "to contact the Autobots. Request a ground bridge, and get out of here."

Her frame shook against him, the metal of her armor smacking into his every now and then. Arcee took a moment to process her words, and then she was shaking her helm. "What are you going to do when you 'enemies' appear to save me?"

"I will... remain here and call for my own ground bridge."

"No. No, I won't do it. I'm not leaving you down here." It was the first her voice came out fluidly, and he tilted his helm to get a good look at her faceplates. There was a deep frown on her lips, a dulled hue to her blue optics, and a quiver in her voice when she continued. "You don't think Starscream will find a way to offline you? You don't belong with the Decepticons, Retrofire. You belong with us, your _family."_

Her EM Field was full of concern and anguish, and he smiled sadly at her. He said nothing, allowing her to continue on. "Ratchet can patch you up, make sure your systems are in working order. No one will hold it against you, and you would be safe." Her optics looked into his, and he finally felt her desperation for his return. She didn't like him being a Decepticon, not because it meant they would have to be enemies, but becase she was unsure of his safety.

After all this time, she still cared for him.

"I'm sorry, Arcee, but I cannot return with you. I have a duty to Lord Megatron, and you have one to Optimus. To the humans. They would not appreciate having a mech that nearly offlined them on the same team."

He was right, and she knew that. For the first time since he left the Autobots, he saw a clear liquid gloss over her optics before she bowed her helm, breaking the optic contact. Her servo reached up towards his com-link, and with a swift motion of her digits, it was on the Autobot frequency. "Ratchet, I need an immediate... ground bridge." Her systems were beginning to sputter, he realized. She needed to get out _now. _

The femme relayed her coordinates to the Autobot medic. He could hear the older mech's furious voice from the other end and smiled, his EM Field filling with distant affection. He was showing to Arcee that he was doing this because he cared for her, he was allowing her to escape with her life because he couldn't let her offline. Not here. She ended the transmission and looked up at him, the coolant threatening to spill, and he reached his digit up to wipe it away.

She didn't say a word, pressing her forehelm to his before pushing away his arms. He made no protest, his body too weak to pull her back down, and she rose to her pedes. A ground bridge opened behind her, and in came the Autobot Scout and the medic, as well as Optimus coming behind them. Ratchet's gaze was instantly on the large Decepticon, and he furrowed his optic ridges at the sight. "Retrofire?"

He mustered up the strength to give him a curt nod, resting heavily against the wall.

Ratchet looked to Arcee, who didn't look as though she had just wanted to weep. "Is he coming too?"

"No," she spoke with a slight strain in her voice, leaning against Bumblebee for support. "He's returning to the Decepticons."

"What?!" The medic turned to glare at him, and while his grumpiness was clear, Retrofire could see the concern in his optics.

"He chose to."

"Don't be a fool!" Ratchet tried to approach the mech, but a servo stopped him. Optimus held him back, staring at the former Autobot with a hint of sorrow in his bright blue optics.

The leader of the Autobots knelt before Retrofire, staring into his gold optics and nodding his helm. "Thank you for allowing Arcee to contact us. We will respect your decision."

Bumblebee beeped in protest as the medic shouted, but Arcee brought herself away from the scout, who looked at her in confusion. She was still weak, he could see it in the way her legs shook with each step, and the Decepticon wondered what it was she was doing. He could barely move now, so when Optimus moved aside to allow her some space, he couldn't do anything. Her mouthplates momentarily pressed against his closed ones, her optics closed for a nanoklik as she held his faceplate with her servo, which was cool to the touch.

It didn't last, the femme rising to her pedes and making towards the ground bridge, ignoring the bewildered gazes from the young Cybertronian and the oldest. Retrofire managed to hold out his servo after her, but she was already gone by the time he could even whisper her designation. Optimus' optics filled with pain, and he patted his old ally on the shoulder, wishing him luck with the Decepticons and reminding him that if he need it, he had a home with the Autobots.

Then they were all gone, Bumblebee dragging himself out of the cavern before the ground bridge was closed. And he was all alone with his thoughts, scarcely venting and his body almost completely numb. But he turned on his com-link and contacted the only Decepticon he could trust other than Lord Megatron.

"Soundwave, I need an immediate ground bridge to my coordinates."


End file.
